The Dead File

"Oh, oh, one more thing before I forget."

"Prescription: Murder"

I can't quite recall which episodes of Columbo I first saw, though I have distinct memories of watching some kind of rerun of the first two episodes of season 8, Columbo Goes to the Guillotine and Murder, Smoke and Shadows on television. Though I think I already knew Columbo at that point, so that means I had already seen episodes before those...

While I often take a look inside the little free library in the town centre, it's not often I take something back with me. Of course, sometimes, you manage to stumble upon Christianna Brand, but more often than not, I leave empty-handed, or it's a book I end up returning swiftly because it was not very interesting. Today's book was one I was surprised to see in the free library and I immediately took it with me: William Harrington's The Grassy Knoll (1993) was Harrington's first original tie-in novel based on the Columbo series, which would be followed by a few others. The book introduces us to TV-host Paul Drury of The Paul Drury Show, a rather popular live talkshow, not in the least due to Paul Drury's personal interest in a topic that has interested Americans for decades: the 1963 assassination of President John F. Kennedy in Dallas, Texas. The experience of actually having been there as a child when this happened turned into an obsession, and Drury has dedicated almost fifty shows to the JFK assassination, inviting historians, legal experts and people with new theories to appear on the show. The real star however is Drury himself, who has a gigantic database on everything JFK-related and is always ready to fact-check anyone on the show or callers back home. But what Drury didn't know about, was his own murder-to-be. After another show on JFK, Drury returns home in the evening, only to be ambushed in his own garage by Tim Edmonds, the producer of the show, and Alicia Graham Drury, assistant-producer on the show, but also Tim's current lover and Paul Drury's ex-wife. They swiftly murder the star of The Paul Drury Show, and also set-up things so it looks like a burglary and arrange for a false alibi for themselves, and the following day, the two naturally appear at the house again after the discovery of the murder by the housekeeper, playing the roles of the shocked producer and ex-wife. At first, they seem rather delighted to see this scruffy detective Lt. Columbo lead the investigation, but as times passes by, Alicia in particular starts to realize there's more to the man than meets the eye. Meanwhile, a virus is used to wipe out Paul Drury's computers and his whole JFK database at the office, which seems to suggests his murder is related to this database, but how?

The Grassy Knoll is a novel that often feels very much like a Columbo story like you'd see on television, but at the same time, it often feels very much unlike a classic Columbo story. Some elements, I will let slide because this book was published in 1993, so after the (relatively) newer series of Columbo which sometimes do have a different vibe compared to the original series. A bit more sex, Paul Drury apparently liking to walk around naked, not exactly what I expect from classic Columbo, but I could imagine things like that in the series from season 8 on. And the fact that the narration actually refers to Mrs. Columbo, confirming her to be absolutely alive and all is also something later Columbo seasons did, having third parties confirm her existence, though I must admit I always loved the ambiguity regarding her existence of the earlier seasons. But on the whole, we have an inverted mystery story set in the flashy television world of Los Angeles, we have murderers who think they are thousand steps ahead of Columbo and make fun of him only to find that the man is slowly but surely learning the truth by asking a lot of questions and finally, it all comes falling down. In that sense, The Grassy Knoll is of course what you'd expect of a Columbo novel.

But one thing that does make this feel very much unlike any other Columbo stories is the focus on the JFK assassination. Apparently, the other Columbo original novels by Harrington also tackled real world crimes, but it's just something I didn't really like about this book, as it is definitely more just 'fluff' or a thing only Paul Drury was on about, the actual murder becomes a major theme of the book when Columbo starts suspecting Drury's obssession with the case is what led to his murder, so some parts of the book have Columbo actually looking into the JFK assassination and learn the details about that death and theories regarding the "true" shooter. It is weird seeing Columbo investigating a real world crime, and while he doesn't come up with some history-altering theory about this murder, it was still something that felt out of place to me, even though it is apparently Harrington's hook for this series of books.

The mystery plot itself is also slightly different from what you'd expect of a Columbo. Yes, it is an inverted mystery, with the murderers having created a false alibi for themselves for the murder, but this element isn't even the most important part of the story: the false alibi is torn apart rather easily, and when you come to the end, you'll realize there's not really a "big" satisfying moment where Columbo laid a clever trap, or where the murderers made a truly "oh, in hindsight I should've seen that coming" mistake (their biggest "mistake" was just having a rather simple plan...). The murder itself, and the way Columbo solves whodunnit are Columbo-esque in form, but in terms of feeling as satisfying as the best of Columbo episodes, like the gotcha moments in episodes like Suitable for Framing or A Case of Immunity, you won't find that here. It doesn't help that Tim and Alice aren't really interesting opponents either. What the mystery is mostly about, is the reason why Tim and Alice killed Paul Drury. We soon learn that Tim and Alice are actually in contact with a third person in regards to this murder, and most of the mystery for the reader is figuring out why Tim and Alice decided to kill the star of their show. This quest into the motive brings Columbo even outside Los Angeles for a short period, and ultimately links back to the JFK assassination in some way, but as I mentioned above, I didn't really like the real-world crime connections here, so it kinda fell flat for me. I think the idea behind the motive itself is interesting, just that it doesn't really belong in Columbo.

As a 1993 book, the book is interesting in the way it was modern for the time when it comes to the usage of computers, but it's really dated when you read it now, which is quite funny. We're not just talking about the police doing 'zoom and enhance' on pictures and having to explain what a virus is, but also Columbo being impressed by computers with dozens of megabytes of storage space or computer back-ups on hundreds of floppy disks.

I wouldn't say The Grassy Knoll feels completely unlike a Columbo story, for that is not true. It has all those trademark moments and lines you should expect of a Columbo tie-in novel. But the murder mystery itself is not particularly memorable and when the book goes deeper into the matter of motive, it does feel like it's doing something you normally wouldn't expect of the series, and your mileage may vary on how much you like that. Tone-wise, the book is also a bit closer to the last few seasons of Columbo, which I'll admit are not my favorite seasons, so that plays a role too in how I feel about the book. But still, it was perfectly fine for a book I found in the free library!

「むろん、お前はABCをしっているな」

"You have to excuse me, but I've seen you play this routine time and time again. The paper shuffling, the distractions, the talk about your wife, or in this case your broken percolator. If you've got me in your cross hairs, you really have to do better than using all that crap.", 'The Gun that Wasn't', " The Columbo Collection"

Desperately trying to shorten the backlog before a ridiculous amount of books is delivered here from Japan. But I don't really think I'll be able to shorten it significantly. Especially not if I forget which books I have read and which not.

The week started with ABC Satsujin Jiken ("The ABC Murders"), an short story anthology named after Agatha Christie's classic. Like with Y no Higeki, a book discussed earlier, stories in this anthology all play with the theme of Christie's The A.B.C. Murders. Both Arisugawa Arisu and Norizuki Rintarou contributed to ABC Satsujin, as well as Onda Riku, Kanou Tomoko and Nukui Tokurou.

And as I was reading this book, I realised I had actually read half of this anthology before, but I couldn't remember what happened in the stories, so I had to re-read them. However, the fact I couldn't remember a single fact of most stories was indeed a sign the stories weren't that interesting. Maybe I had supressed them in my memories.

Which in hindsight seems plausible. Veterans Arisugawa Arisu and Norizuki Rintarou offer slightly entertaining stories with "ABC Killer" and "ABCD Houimou" ("The ABCD Line"). ABC Killer is closest to Christie's ABC, with a string of serial murders of people who are killed in alphabetic order. "The ABCD Line" starts with a man who keeps confessing to murders (and saying he's responsible for accidents), but whom it was impossible to commit those. Why would someone confess to murders he didn't commit?

Howver, the remaining stories are not interesting at all. Onda Riku's Anata to yoru to ongaku to ("You, the night and music") has an interesting setting, at a radio station, but is a mediocre story. And the strangest part is that it is less of a homage to The A.B.C. Murders, than to Ellery Queen's The Mad Tea Party or The Finishing Stroke. Kanou Tomoko's Neko no Ie no Alice ("Alice of the House of Cats") does revolve around a plot of poisoned cats (yes, in alphabetical order), but is full of distracting Alice in Wonderland references. Which again reminds more of Queen than Christie.Nukui Tokurou's Rensa suru Suuji ("Connected Numbers") is actually bad, with bad pacing in story, a bad plot and bad characters. I won't even bother writing about it.

Compared to the very entertaining Y no Higeki, this anthology is mostly disappointing. The A.B.C. Murders is one of the most famous detective stories ever and you'd think writers should be able to do more with the ingenious theme of the book. And not really related to that, but maybe I should finally start reading Alice in Wonderland.

Luckily I read The Columbo Collection afterwards, a new collection of Columbo short stories! Written by series creator William Link and published by Crippen & Landru, this set of 12 stories revive the old show. In a new setting though. It's hard to imagine the lieutenant using a cell phone. But he does. Still, what is there to complain about a continuation of good old Columbo, who'll keep hounding his suspect till he catches them on one small mistake?

Even though the series stopped many years ago, reading these stories will make you realize Columbo is a series that will never age. While these short stories are indeed short (compared to the 60 till 90 minutes episodes), the psychological fencing between murderer and Columbo is still as entertaining as ever. Looking for the one mistake the murderer made is still as exciting as ever. And everyone will read Columbo's lines with Peter Falk's voice in their heads. It's classic Columbo, in 2010. And it's good.　

Original Japanese title(s): 『ABC殺人事件』/有栖川有栖　「ABCキラー」/恩田陸　「あなたと夜と音楽と」/加納朋子　「猫の家のアリス」/貫井徳郎　「連鎖する数字」/法月綸太郎　「ABCD包囲網」

"Ah, one more thing, sir."

「え～、ご無沙汰しております。皆さん、お元気でしたか？私は元気です。え～、さて誰にでも少年時代がありました。勿論、私にもありました。そして誰にでも多感な時期、影響を受けた人物がいるものです。勿論、私にも。今のこの私があるのも、その人との出会いがあったればこそです。今でも目をつぶると瞼の裏に、その人の顔が浮かんできます。…つぶってみましょう。」
『古畑中学生』

"Erm, it's been a long while. How have you been? I've been fine. Erm, everyone was young at a time. Of course, so was I. And everyone in that sensitive period, had someone who influenced them. Of course, so had I. The person who I am now, was all because I met that person. Even now, when I close my eyes, the face of that person is visible behind my eyelids.... Let's try closing our eyes."
"Middle School Student Furuhata"

Lately, I have been watching some old episodes of that classic detective show Columbo again. Ever since I was a kid I have loved this show and while occasionally some of the more recent movies are shown on Dutch television, the original series has not been broadcast here for years now. But even now as I watch the series, I feel it has lost nothing of its charm. Heck, in the 40 years since its debut few series were made that were so entertaining in my opinion.

And this is despite the fact that pretty much every episode is the same: you see the murderer-of-the-week (celebrity actors like Leonard Nemoy Dr. Spock) commit his/her murder, usually in a clever way to avert suspicion. Then scruffy-looking lieutenant Columbo arrives and the rest of the episode, consists mostly of cat-and-mouse scenes between just the lieutenant and the killer, with Columbo asking trivial question after question and telling stories about his wife and simply looking a lot more stupid than he actually is. The point of every episode is figuring out how Columbo is going to prove the murderer is guilty.

The show is just two people talking. About a murder you have seen already. Dialogue about something you know everything about for an hour. But it works. Every. Single. Time. The great plots, the great acting, it's all top-notch and every episode is as exciting as the previous one, despite being basically the same. Columbo pulls off the use of a formula brilliantly.

I actually don't like the name howcatchem (c.f. whodunnit), nor inverted detective (techically it's inverted, but from a chronological view, the inverted detective runs completely straight, so the term feels strange to me). But it's been a style in detective fiction since at least Freeman's The Singing Bone (1912). Interestingly, Edogawa Rampo had written one himself too (The Psychological Test (1925), included in Japanese Tales of Mystery and Imagination) and in his 1934 essay The Four Types of Detective Stories, he had identified the inverted detective (the toujo tantei shousetsu: "chronological reversed detective" which feels even more wrong than inverted detective) as his fourth type, but as he had only 3 examples (including his own story), he wasn't sure whether he should include it as a proper detective story type. Time proved Edogawa right though.

A more recent Japanese example would be the Gyakuten Saiban (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney) game series, as in many cases you usually know who did it, you just have to prove it in court. As an attorney using the foolproof Columbo way of pouncing on every contradiction, how insignificant it may seem, you eventually manage to solve the case.

But if you're talking about the inverted Japanese detective, one name should come up immediately: Furuhata Ninzaburou (yes, I shamelessly stole the logo design for this blog). It's pretty much a clone show of Columbo, with lieutenant Furuhata being the one asking many many seemingly trivial questions to the murderer-of-the-week with his polite way of talking. And like Columbo, Furuhata Ninzaburou managed to make every episode worthwile. Running for more than 10 years in Japan, it has been one of the most popular shows there, featuring many high profile celebrities (like Ichiro, SMAP, Sanma and Matsushima Nanako) as murderers. Also amusing are the seemingly non-sequitur introductions of every episode (that in the end turn out to tie up with the theme of the episode neatly), which I occasionally use as introducing quotes myself. But what makes Furuhata Ninzaburou really interesting, is the formal challenge to the watcher in every episode. Inspired by the 1975 Ellery Queen show, Furuhata actually breaks the fourth wall near the end of the episode and asks the viewer whether they can prove the murderer did it, as he certainly can. It's one of those shows I am proud to own on DVD.

Ah, one more thing, sir, the proper way of finishing this post would be a Columbo-ian "one more thing, sir...", of course, but as I can't think of something worth mentioning, this will do. え～、古畑任三郎でした。