「犯人は、この中にいる!」
『金田一少年の事件簿』
"The murderer is among us!"
Pretty much all stories of "The Case Files of Young Kindaichi"
Wait, I actually have a collection of short short stories that is fun and easy to translate.
The very first translation posted here was that of Higashino Keigo's Trick no Shoutai - ??? ("The True Identity of the Trick - ???"), a short story that was collected in Meitantei no Okite ("The Laws of Great Detectives"), a great meta-parody of the tropes that exist within detective fiction. From locked room to alibi tricks, from the headless corpse to the nursery rhyme, nothing is safe for Higashino and his stories show the (hilarious) extremes of these well-established tropes and also allows him to muse about what it is to be a detective writer who is always trying to deceive his readers. Author Higashino is helped by his protagonist Tenkaichi Daigorou and police inspector Ookawara, who are actually aware that they are characters in a detective novel. Thus you'll never see Ookawara making grand deductions (at least, not out loud), because that's the role reserved for Tenkaichi.
Ever since that first translation, which was made while under influence of severe jetlag and less severe culture shock, I've read and written a lot more, but sometimes it's fun to go back to the beginning. And a lot easier too: the stories collected in Meitantei no Okite are wonderfully short and easy to translate. A bit under 30 pages is just perfect. Yes, I am lazy. An Unexpected Criminal – Whodunnit is like the name suggest a parody on the old whodunnit form of a detective story and saying more would be spoiling the story, so I'll just conclude this saying I expect a bunch of angry readers when they reach the end.
意外な犯人 - フーダニット
著者:東野圭吾
An Unexpected Criminal– Whodunnit.
The notice that a murder had happened at the Ushigami mansion came the first thing in the morning. And that meant it was time for my appearance, Ōkawara Banzō, police inspector of the homicide department of the prefectural police. But the readers already know that I will not solve this case. The people related to the case I will meet later on are probably expecting nothing of me either. The Ushigami mansion is a North-European building located deep in the mountains. It seems that the victim, Ushigami Teiji was a famous oil painter, but I had no heard of him.
When I arrived, five men and women were already gathered in the Western living room.
“Who are those people?,” I asked a nondescript officer, as I looked at the five persons who sat on the expensive-looking leather couch.
“The people who were present last night. One of them is the maid, two of them are Ushigami Teiji’s relatives and the other two are Teiji’s disciples and the last one…,” the young officer stopped there and looked around, “Hey, the last person isn’t here”.
“There was another person?”
“Yes, a very strange man”
“Well, let’s leave that for later. I’ll first take a look at the scene of the crime”.
Ushigami Teiji was murdered in his atelier. The atelier was located in an annex, which was connected to the main building through a roofed passage. I was led by the officer inside the atelier, where the body was lying in the middle of the room. But what took my attention was the state of the room itself. All the glass windows were broken and the fragments were spread all over the floor. But it were not only windows. The glass doors of the cupboard had also been broken. The canvas on top of the easel was also been ripped to pieces and it was not possible anymore to see what was drawn there.
“What a mess. Like a typhoon passed through this room only”.
Just when I placed my hand on my head as I said that, a sound came from the corner of the room. There, between a couple of canvasses that were placed there, a man dressed in a frayed checkered suit was moving about.
“Hey!,” I yelled to the man’s back, “What do you think you’re doing?! You’re not allowed in here!”
The man turned around. “Ah, it is inspector Ōkawara ! Hard at work, I see”.
“Ah, yo… you!,” I said like an actor. The man was Tenkaichi Daigorō, a detective who always appears in this author’s stories. “What are you doing here?”
“I was hired for an investigation by the victim. So I was making use of his hospitality last night”.
It seems that the very strange man the officer had told me about, was this man.
“A request by the victim Ushigami Teiji. What kind of investigation?”
“I usually don’t reveal the details of my investigations, but I guess I have no choice. The master artist Ushigami suspected someone was after his life and wanted me to find out who it was”.
“What? Really?”
“Why would I lie about that?”. Tenkaichi swung his walking stick around.
“What did he mean someone with after his life?”
“The first time was when he was having an afternoon nap, when he was almost strangled to death. He struggled, but when he came too, the culprit was already gone. The second time was poison. Just as he wanted to put some sugar in his coffee, he noticed that agricultural chemicals were mixed in the sugar. He noticed it because the reflection of the light on the sugar was a bit different. The chemicals had been in the storage room, for gardening purposes”.
“So why didn’t he come to the police? Of course you’re gonna get yourself killed if you rely on an amateur detective…,” I said angrily as I looked down upon the body.
“Ushigami said he had gone to the police. But the police wouldn’t do anything as long no real incident had happened, so that’s why he came to me”.
“Well, that’s…”
Being put on a hard spot by Tenkaichi’s words, I turned to my subordinates. “What are you doing loafing around! Check the body!”
Ushigami Teiji was dressed in his working clothes, which were covered by paint. His body was lying face upwards. A knife was stuck in his breast. There were no other wounds on his body.
“Inspector, this is…!”
My subordinate had picked up a square standing clock from the floor. The glass face had also been broken. The arms of the clock stood still at 6.30.
“So this is the time of the murder. Wait, it might be a fake left by the murderer. Who discovered the body?, “ I asked one of my detectives, but Tenkaichi butted in.
“it was the maid Yone who first found the body. But you might also say that everybody in the house discovered the body”.
“What do you mean?”.
“At half past six, that is, the time that the clock is pointing at, a loud scream was heard all over the house. It seemed like Ushigami’s voice. And the sound of glass breaking continued on and on. I was still lying in bed at that time, but I sprang right up. The other people also came out of their rooms one by one. Then we heard Yone’s scream, so we made our way to the atelier. And that’s where we found the body”.
“Hmm, I see”.
I stroked my mustache while I was thinking and finally said to my subordinate: “OK, let’s hear what they all have to say. Bring them in one by one”.
“Yes, sir,” the officer said and went out the room. Having seen him leave the room,
I then turned to Tenkaichi and smiled.
“Seems like this time we’re only looking for a murderer. There’s not even a locked room”.
“I feel relieved about that”.
Tenkaichi smiled too.
“I was really worried about what to do if we came across a locked room again. When I heard that the door to the atelier wasn’t locked, it was like a weight was lifted from my heart”.
“Five suspects. Well, for appearance’s sake, I should treat you as a suspect too, but what are the odds of the murderer being the series’ detective?”
People would probably get angry if something like that happened, I thought.
“What about the probability of the criminal being someone from outside?”
Tenkachi’s eyes flashed.
“I’ll have to look into that too. The police always looks into the probability of the culprit being someone from outside”.
In these kinds of detective stories, it is pretty much impossible for the murderer to have been someone from outside, but to run around doing useless investigations, is my function within the Detective Tenkaichi series.
“Even so, there are only five suspects…”.
Tenkaichi scratched his unkempt hair.
“It’s difficult to catch the reader by surprise with such a limited range. What’s the author planning to do?”
“He wouldn’t go as low as suicide, right?,” I said anxiously.
“No way,” Tenkaichi said and frowned.
“What’s wrong?”
“No, it just seemed like the author’s face turned a bit pale”.
“What do you mean?,” I said surprised, but at that time my subordinate brought in one of the suspects. Tenkaichi and I returned to the world of fiction.
My subordinate had brought in the cousin of the victim Ushigami Teiji, Umamoto Masaya, a middle-aged man. He claimed to be a broker who worked with imports of foreign goods, but it seemed like his work was not all that clean.
“I have no idea what has happened. Teiji was so energetic yesterday, and then to have this happen… What? What I think? Really no idea. Who would murder such a good person? It was probably a thief who was out for some money. Yes, that has to be it. Inspector, please find the man as fast as possible”.
Having said that, Masaya started to cry. Or wait, to be more precise, he just put his handkerchief besides his eyes the whole time, but it did not seem like tears were actually coming out.
We then asked the other suspects. Because it would just confuse the readers if we just came up with all these characters, so we’ll do it with a list like those dramatis personae you often see at the beginning of a detective novel.
Dramatis Personae
* Ushigami Teiji (60)
Oil painer. Owner of Ushigami mansion. Holds a fortune.
* Umamoto Masaya (42)
Self-proclaimed imports broker. Cousin of Teiji, lives in the Ushigami mansion.
* Umamoto Ayae (38)
Masaya’s wife.
* Torada Shōzō (28)
Teiji’s disciple. Lives in the Ushigami mansion.
* Tatsumi Fuyuko (23)
Teiji’s disciple. Lives alone near the Ushigami mansion.
* Inuzuka Yone (45)
Ushigami mansion’s maid.
* Ōkawara Banzō (42)
Police inspector (homicide department, prefectural police)
* Suzuki (30), Yamamoto (29)
Detective and police officer
* Tenkaichi Daigorō (unknown)
Great detective
“Hahahaha”
As I looked at the list, I just had to laugh. It was already weird to have normal detectives and officers on the list, but the best was Tenkaichi’s part.
Great Detective.
“Hahhahahahwhahahaha”
Who writes down great detective in a dramatis personae? Just ‘detective’ is enough, right? Don’t write great detective! It’s embarrassing! What is this author thinking?
Tears came out as I laughed inside the reception room, when my subordinate Suzuki came in.
“Inspector, I’ve brought Inuzuka Yone”.
I became serious again.
“Ok, bring her inside”.
Urged by Suzuki, Yone came in. Her face was all pale and hung down.
“You know what this is, right?,” I said and I took out the sugar can. There was caster sugar inside. Yone nodded silently.
“You have heard that there was poison inside this, right? Agricultural chemicals”.
Yone opened her eyes and showed an expression of surprise.
“No, I haven’t heard anything about that”.
“You really know nothing about that? Where is this can normally placed? The kitchen? So the person who has the easiest access to this, is the person who is usually always in the kitchen. That means you”.
“But… I, I don’t know anything about that. Why would I kill the master? Such… such a horrible thing…”
Yone’s shook her head and her body writhed.
“Then I’ll ask you. Where were you when you heard Ushigami’s scream this morning?”.
“In my own room”.
“Can you prove it?”
“Prove it... No, I can’t”.
“Just like I thought. By the way, all the others came out of their own rooms after the scream, so they can all vouch for each other. They all have an alibi”.
“I also came out of my room when I heard the scream. I went to the atelier, saw the horrible sight of the master and screamed”.
“Really? Didn’t you murder Ushigami first and then screamed like you had just arrived?”
“You’re wrong, wrong! I didn’t do it!,” Yone cried out.
I sighed and looked at her with a face that said that crying was not going to help her. But of course I knew deep down in my heart that this poor woman was not the murderer. That was the reason I was able to be so persistent with her. What we as supporting cast in a detective story always have to watch out for, is to never arrive at the real murderer before the great detective does. I have to buy him time by doing useless investigations until Tenkaichi arrives at the truth. I actually had several proofs of Yone’s innocence. First of all, she wasn’t beautiful. This author seems to have the habit of making the murderer beautiful if she’s a woman. Secondly, there were no blank spots in her past. It is hard to come up with a hidden motive at a later stage in the story if someone’s past is clear. And finally, her name. Yone was not a name suitable for a murderer.
As I looked at the crying Yone, someone knocked on the door. Tenkaichi entered the room.
“Yone isn’t the murder,” the detective suddenly said.
“What is this? This is no place for an amateur detective! Get out!,” I said the standard phrases for such a situation.
“Please listen. I told you this morning that someone tried to strangle Ushigami as he was taking a afternoon nap, right? I have investigated the alibis of everyone for that time, but Yone was out at that time doing groceries”.
“What? Is that true?”
“Yes”
“Hmm,” I groaned. To quickly pick out a criminal, but to be proven wrong almost immediately afterwards was also my function as a member of the supporting cast.
“So this woman isn’t the murderer…”
“By the way, I just heard this from the officer, but it seems that Ushigami’s own fingerprints were found on the knife, right?,” Tenkaichi asked me.
“Aah, yes, that’s right. But that’s just a trick the murderer used to make it seem like suicide. They were prints from his left hand. And everybody knows that Ushigami was right-handed”.
“I see. But then the murderer would have known that too. And despite that, he used the left hand…”
“He was probably in a panic,” I decided lightly and at that time my subordinate entered.
“Inspector, a letter was send to a merchant who handled the pictures of Ushigami Teiji”.
“A letter?”
I took out the contents of the envelope my subordinate gave me. The following was written on the stationary inside:
Ushigami Teiji’s works are not painted by Ushigami himself. He sold the works I painted as his own works. Ushigami Teiji has to pay for his crimes
“What? Ushigami stole other people’s paintings?”
“That’s impossible!,” Yone said sharply, but still crying. “The master painted everything himself”.
“Who wrote this?” I looked again at the letter and turned my head.
“Allow me for a second”. Tenkaichi extended his arm and took the letter from me. “Awful handwriting”.
“Naturally faked to fool handwriting analysis”. I made a face that said that this is why amateurs will always be amateurs.
“Hmm, could it be…” Tenkaichi had the habit to start scratching his unkempt hair when he started his deductions inside his head. Dandruff was flying around.
Like we just discussed, this is a whodunnit. But that does not mean that a reader will be able to solve this case just by taking notes while reading and to be honest, it does not matter from what angle you look at the case, with this kind of detective stories it is almost impossible to arrive at the truth relying only the in-universe hints. But there is nothing wrong with that. Because in reality, there are no readers who logically try to deduce the criminal like the in-fiction detective. Most readers just try to guess the criminal based on instinct and experience.
There are sometimes readers who say’ I knew who did it halfway through!,’ but these people did not arrive at their conclusion through deduction, they just randomly target someone and simply say ‘it was him’ . What is difficult for the author however, is the fact that there are so many targets for this. Guessing who the reader thinks is the criminal, is like guessing the outcome of a horse race. For example, with this case, the authors thinks the guesses of the readers are something like this:
[No 1] Tatsumi Fuyuko. Young and beautiful. Would make for a great murderer. Is the saddest about the victim’s dead, but that seems to be an act.
[No 2] Torada Shōzō. Depicted as a youthful lad. Not suspicious at all and therefore suspicious.
[No 3] Either Umamoto Masaya or Ayae. Monetary motives are rather standard, so they are probably just characters created by the writer to mislead the readers.
[No 4] Inuzuka Yone. Plain and not conspicuous at all, but it might be a surprise ending where she turns out to be pure evil.
[No 5] One of the police officers. There are such kinds of stories, so keep this possibility in mind.
[Extra] Suicide or fake suicide. Or everyone worked together.
With this list, the author is prepared for his readers. But no matter who the murderer is, there is always someone who will say “I knew it is was him or her”.
“Hey, is this really going to be alright?,” I asked Tenkaichi who was waiting for his performance. He was to solve the case now.
“Is it really going to be a truth that is going to surprise the readers?”.
“Leave it all to me,” Tenkaichi said confidently.
“But no matter which of the persons on the list turns out to be the murderer, the readers aren’t going to be surprised, you know”.
“Probably”.
“You don’t seem worried at all. Hey, I know that this is meta-fiction, but don’t tell me the author or the reader is going to be the murderer?!”
“No, no. Lately, readers have even been guessing those kind of solutions”.
I groaned, as I knew that to be true.
The door to the living room opened and my subordinate’s head popped out.
“They’re all here, sir”.
“OK. Well, let’s go”.
I took Tenkaichi with me inside. All the suspects were sitting in the living room. I coughed.
“Errr, Tenkaichi here has something to tell us regarding this case. It’s only the deduction of an amateur detective, but he insisted, so please listen to him”. The standard phrases.
I sat down and Tenkaichi took one step forward.
“Ladies and gentlemen”. This was also a standard phrase.
“This case has really been odd. Even I was confused for a while. But I finally found the murderer”.
“Who is it?,” one of the suspects exclaimed.
“He is…,” Tenkaichi turned to the group of suspects, “a male”.
Someone gasped.
“It was you, you right?”
“No, I didn’t do it!”
“Me neither!”
The suspects started to cry out, but Tenkaichi calmed them down.
“Please listen to me. Our male murderer had been living for a long time in Ushigami Teiji’s shadow. The works he painted were stolen by Ushigami and sold as his paintings. And he got nothing from Ushigami for that. Which he resented. And finally his hate exploded, which led to the murder of Ushigami”.
“Who was it?” I stood up and glared at the suspects”.
“Who?”
“Who was it, tell us quickly!”
“That person is...,” Tenkaichi breathed slowly, “the other personality that lives inside Ushigami Teiji”.
“….”
Everybody stared silently at the detective.
“Ushigami had undergone brain surgery when he was young to treat an illness. As a result, a new personality was born in his right brain. A personality who painted. I found out that even though Ushigami was right-handed, the fingerprints on his brushes were all from his left hand. That’s because the left hand is controlled by the right brain. That letter that exposed Ushigami was also written so horribly because it was written with his left hand. Like I just said, this personality had started to harbor hate for Ushigami’s main personality. He tried to strangle him when the main personality fell asleep, he added poison to the sugar, but it all failed. And finally, he stabbed him in the chest”.
“And why was all the glass broken in the atelier?,” I asked, as I felt the ambience in the room had turned for the worse.
“That was because Ushigami’s image was reflected in the glass. The other personality had gone mad and destroyed everything with Usigami’s face on it. Mirrors and even the glass face on the clock. And the canvas was also torn to pieces. It was a self-portrait of Ushigami”.
“Hmmm,” I groaned and then whispered: “But isn’t this just suicide?”
“No! This is fundamentally different from suicide. This is murder,” Tenkaichi said strongly. The other people were still looking perplexed.
“Alright, I understand now”. I stood up.
“The other personality was the criminal. Hmm, I had no idea. As expected from the great detective Tenkaichi. I really have to my hat off for you”. I desperately tried to praise Tenkaichi.
“No this was also thanks to the inspector’s help...”
At that point, something came flying towards us. I picked it up. It was an empty beer can. Next, a banana peel was thrown towards us.
“Wha… what are you doing!,” Tenkaichi covered his face with his hands.
I suddenly realized it.
“The readers! The readers are angry!”
They were throwing garbage and horse manure by now.
“Help me!” Tenkaichi ran away.
“Wait! Don’t leave me here!” I also quickly left the scene.

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